Zeus and Poseidon
https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/7cef6b05-51f4-4a15-b2a1-d98e7d53fcf1/audio
During the Journey
(Oğuz has decided to return to the islands and his family after years away. They are on the Bozcaada car ferry. His brother, Alp, is with him.)
Oğuz (Poseidon): Alp, what happened to your epic love story with Aygül after you got married?
Alp (Zeus): What happened to our love? Nothing's changed.
Oğuz: They say love turns into affection after marriage.
Alp: Could be. That's the common belief, but I'm still as in love with Aygül as ever. And I love her, of course.
Oğuz: So, have you ever cheated on Aygül?
Alp: Oğuz, are you okay? Where do these questions come from? Look, you haven't been back to the island in years. Did I ever ask what you were up to abroad? You left Deniz before your wedding, abandoning her, the island, and us.
Oğuz: Don't change the subject, please. I asked you a straightforward question.
Alp: You haven't changed a bit. Yes, I cheated on my woman, and I've been cheated on too. I became a slave to passion with other women. I fell in love, sharing the thrill on my lover's lips.
Oğuz: …
Alp: Want me to go on? You opened the door.
Oğuz: Sure, it's up to you.
Alp: I set free the physical touches I'd locked inside me with the women I cheated with. I was defeated by those emotions in the face of reality. I stood back up and got swept away again by lustful glances.
"Hey, good people, don't let yourself be carried by the wind. It's a human obsession that brings ruin, like a disease. Please don't touch it, or you'll lose yourself, breathless. In the middle of this fight, I call out to my beloved: Don't sleep through the poisonous reach of dawn. Stand before me and shatter the fleeting songs of love's wounds."
Oğuz: And then?
Alp: Then? I was heartbroken, of course.
Oğuz: So that's where it ended? Done and forgotten?
Alp: If you're in a relationship, you must consider these things, right?
Oğuz: Do people who love each other and decide to marry think, "This is exactly the kind of woman I want. Her personality fits me perfectly," when they tie the knot?
Alp: I wouldn't say it's always like that. Honestly, that kind of desire and the decision to marry based on it can be dangerous. And right now, the warning bells are ringing for Aygül and me.
Oğuz: Meaning?
Alp: I've started interfering in my woman's life. And that's driving a wedge between us.
"Come, let's escape, far from fleeting mischief. Where there are no eyes or hair of yours, just you and me— and them. Those who sell their fertile, fleeting loves to one another, who gouge out their eyes and cut their hair, disciples drowning in Zoroaster's vomit— that's you, that's me, that's them."
Oğuz: Love is a disease. It is a reckless journey that starts with passion and leaves you lost, tossed around without knowing what to do. Illusions reach out to her without questioning why.
Alp: Oğuz, the distance has changed you.
Oğuz: It's the struggle to name a relationship indescribable initially, but later has its boundaries drawn. Acting recklessly without realizing that thoughts don't even graze the circle of logic.
Alp: Since you brought up love, let me say this: love is an undefined virus in our bodies, multiplying the tumours we don't want, but that suddenly appear. Don't be fooled by the dance of love around you.
Oğuz: I won't be fooled anymore. But I'll keep loving passionately. Some will join me, others won't. Have any of us ever thought the same about love? That's how it should be, I guess.
Oğuz: So, have you ever been jealous of Aygül? Is there jealousy in your relationship?
Alp: I've been jealous—very much so. Beyond whether jealousy should exist, we can't deny its impact on our behaviour. As long as humans exist, this feeling will always be there.
Oğuz: Should it be part of a relationship, then?
Alp: If I say it should always be there, you might think I enjoy how it affects me.
Oğuz: That could be inferred, so why ask?
Alp: I'll be blunt, Oğuz. Whether we want it or not, jealousy is an inescapable part of life. It's always there in our relationships.
Oğuz: Of course it is. But what matters is keeping it in balance. You know I always say that.
Alp: Oh, I know.
Oğuz: Sometimes we accept it; other times, we push it away angrily, wanting to keep it out of our relationships. Jealousy can be dangerous at times. But only when it spirals out of control. That's when the warning bells start ringing.
Alp: I'm always jealous of my woman. I'm a jealous man. But I don't want it to be just my feeling—I want to be the one who's envied too. As long as we both keep this feeling under control, we know it won't harm us. Or at least, that's what I think.
Oğuz: Don't be so sure. No matter how controlled both people are, it's not guaranteed to be problem-free. For example, things take a different turn if jealousy reaches paranoia or extreme suspicion.
Alp: Oh, they do. I'd never want that in my relationship. I wouldn't allow it.
Oğuz: You sound very confident. I won't warn you again.
Alp: My woman says she's never jealous of me. Oh, women. I'm not saying they're dishonest, but I can't believe how they manage it. This contradiction always makes me think.
They've puzzled over it for years but never found an answer.
"If I could love without jealousy, I'd drown in the barrenness of words that turn my pain into poetry. Strip yourself of the details of doubt, embrace me, let go of your fears, and throw them at me."
Oğuz: Do you trust Aygül?
Alp: First, let me say this: jealousy's connection to trust seems direct, but to me, it's a grand deception.
Oğuz: How so? Can you explain?
Alp: We don't get jealous because we distrust someone. We don't love someone we don't trust. But we can envy the one we love, whom we've shared so much with.
Oğuz: That's an interesting perspective.
Alp: We need time to filter these emotions through our minds. Don't we often measure some feelings against others?
Oğuz: True.
Alp: Back in school, I used to say in my relationships, "Anything can happen at any moment." And often, it did. Sometimes, things happened that surprised both me and the people around me.
Oğuz: Oh, I remember your university days.
Alp: Not just in romantic relationships but in every kind of connection. Old relationships end, new ones begin. New friends, lovers, allies, enemies… And what happened?
Oğuz: …
Alp: I became who I am with what was left. I got tired of dealing with people like me. I distanced myself from them.
"If I love you, it harms my skin. If I push you away, or don't want you, I'm far from my desire. If I say there are others, it's an honest wish. If I pile my bold sensations on myself, I'm in a pitiful state. Even the crimes I committed in your name, I can't keep track of, my woman. When I hold one, another clings to me, one more sip from arrogant recklessness."
Oğuz: How important was physical chemistry in your relationships? How much of a role does sexual connection play?
Alp: Physical chemistry is a cornerstone of a relationship, wouldn't you say? You'd agree. As I said earlier, love evolves into affection or other emotions. If it's an intense love, it turns into affection.
Oğuz: Yes. And where does sexuality fit in?
Alp: But if sexuality in a relationship becomes routine over time, it loses its essence. Things go bad when the excitement, passion, and lustful glances turn into empty stares driven by need.
Oğuz: Now that, I agree with.
Alp: And you have to evaluate sexuality based on the emotional intensity of the relationship at different times.
Oğuz: People can have sex with someone they don't love. But how do their bodies accept each other?
Alp: I think that's the thrill people get from forbidden love. In those moments, people believe they've reached nirvana. I won't say they're deceiving themselves, because what happens in that moment is real.
Oğuz: Are they regretful?
Alp: It's not regret—what was bound to happen. It's the sins of bathed virgins offering their necks to the guillotine. Maybe it was chosen unwillingly. Like I said, what's done is done. That's the reality.
"I strip the accumulated virgins of history, run my sweaty hands over their breasts, their hips, their hair, their lips, I touch them, guided by the growing tumours within me, I wash them away." Kürşat Ural
"Let poetry enter your life."
