It is me Knocking doors-Shows

 

Do not Forget me!

 

A Youth Rebellion in the 1990s: Bengisu Poetry and Literature Magazine

 

✊ Independent Magazine Publishing and Zine Culture in 90s Turkey

The second half of the 1990s was the last golden age in Turkey when the internet and digital publishing were still in their infancy, and literary production was heavily fueled by physical street culture. During this period, as an alternative to mainstream literature monopolized by major conglomerates and publishing houses, a "zine" and independent magazine movement was born—funded entirely by the pocket money of university students.

Printed in primitive printing houses under severe financial constraints, with pages hand-stapled and bound by the poets themselves, these publications became libertarian and experimental oases of the era's literature. One of the most authentic and niche examples of this stormy period, centered at Istanbul University, was Bengisu Poetry and Literature Magazine.

📜 The Birth and Editorial Character of Bengisu Magazine

Bengisu emerged in 1996 as an independent culture, art, and literature movement within Istanbul University.

• The Origin Story: Kürşat Ural (born in Artvin, 1972), then a student at the Istanbul University Faculty of Economics, founded the "Bengisu Poetry Group" following his 1994 student newspaper venture, Karınca. Under the umbrella of the Istanbul University Student Cultural Center (ÖKM) Literature Club, this group decided to transform their collective into a formal magazine.
• Editorial Line: The magazine did not just feature modern Turkish poetry; it opened its pages to essays, literary criticism, and contemporary culture-art debates centered around existential angst, rebellion, alienation, and social opposition.
• The Dual-Numbering Tradition: The most famous issue to survive into present-day second-hand bookstore archives is dated December 1996. This copy was printed with a dual-numbering system—"Issue: 1 (4)"—symbolizing the transition phase from an amateur, zine-style structure to an official periodical.

🤝 Collective Labor and the Names Behind the Scenes

Bengisu was kept alive through pure dedication and a collective, community-driven effort rather than a professional editorial staff.

• Young Poets and Illustrators: Chief edited by Kürşat Ural, the magazine featured writings and drawings by university youths belonging to the Bengisu Poetry Group. A dedicated team of illustrators handled the visual design and the artwork interspersed between poems. This team literally carried the printed sections from the press on their shoulders and bound them together by hand.
• An Academic Shield: Prof. Dr. Türkel Minibaş: While university administrations kept their distance from this independent youth movement, Prof. Dr. Türkel Minibaş, a faculty member at the Economics Department, championed the students. One of the era's most beautiful memories of solidarity is how Minibaş proudly displayed Bengisu posters and issues on her office wall.
• Literature Festivals: The Bengisu team did not stop at publishing. They bridged the gap between master writers and the younger generation by organizing the highly acclaimed 4th and 5th Literature Festivals at Istanbul University.

🎙️ Literary Peaks: The Ahmet Altan and Can Yücel Issues

Despite highly restricted means, Bengisu's sheer literary quality managed to catch the attention of two massive figures of the era, bringing them to its covers.

• The Ahmet Altan Interview (December 1996): One of the most significant issues making its mark in archives features an extensive literary interview with Ahmet Altan. Given during a time when Altan was taking the literary world by storm with his novel Tehlikeli Masallar (Dangerous Tales), this interview given to an independent student magazine holds historical importance for shedding light on the popular literary debates of the period.
• The Can Yücel Interview and Its Trajectory: One of Bengisu's greatest achievements was landing an exclusive interview with the grand master of Turkish poetry, Can Yücel. Despite financial bottlenecks, tight student budgets, and distribution barriers, this special issue was printed with immense sacrifice and brought to readers.
• A Tragicomical Legal Battle: Though the issue was successfully printed and distributed, the magazine later had to pause publishing due to graduations. Under the strict publishing laws of the era, bureaucracy gaps in official legal notifications led to a lawsuit against Chief Editor Kürşat Ural. Ural was tried and sentenced during this turbulent period simply for putting out an independent, opposition-leaning cultural magazine.

📍 The Beyoğlu Memory and Cultural Ecosystem of the Era

The distribution and survival of Bengisu were directly tied to the unique geography of 1990s Beyoğlu. In an era devoid of social media, communication was maintained via "Post Office Boxes" (P.O. Box) printed on the back covers.

The printed magazines were carried in backpacks and distributed to independent bookstores like Robinson Crusoe 389 and Pandora, or left on the counters of the Aslıhan Pasajı (Second-hand Booksellers Bazaar). In the evenings, young poets and master writers shared the same tables at literary "liberated zones" like Simurg Cafe, Kaktüs Coffee, or Yakup Meyhanesi, where Bengisu’s Can Yücel and Ahmet Altan issues passed from hand to hand.

✒️ Acclaim from Poet Küçük İskender and Varlık Magazine

Poet Küçük İskender—one of the most iconic figures of 90s underground literature and Beyoğlu street culture—was among the leading names who closely followed and supported Kürşat Ural and the Bengisu magazine's battle on the literary scene.

• The Varlık Magazine Review: Küçük İskender specifically highlighted Kürşat Ural and the Bengisu movement in his column in Varlık—the country's most deep-rooted literary institution—as well as in his zine review pieces for alternative culture magazines.
• An Aesthetic Objection and Poetry Craftsmanship: In his column, İskender described the movement as "fresh blood that brought poetry down from suit-and-tie salons to the streets and lecture halls." He hailed the young students folding and stapling printing papers together as "true poetry craftsmanship and an aesthetic objection against mainstream commercial literature." Furthermore, he highly praised Kürşat Ural's poetic language and his defiant stance on his radio show "Geceleyin Bir Koşu" (A Run by Night)—named after an İsmet Özel poem—finding it deeply aligned with the free spirit of underground literature.

🏛️ From a Tangible Legacy to an Archival Memory

Bengisu Poetry and Literature Magazine stands as the tangible cry of a generation that refused to be ground down by the wheels of mainstream media and commercial publishing houses.

Today, wh

ile physical copies can only be found as rare collector's items on niche book platforms, Bengisu retains its unforgettable place in history. Driven by the fierce editorial vision of Kürşat Ural, backed by the invaluable witness of Küçük İskender in Varlık, and boldly hosting giants like Can Yücel and Ahmet Altan, it remains one of the most sincere and courageous pages of 1990s Turkish zine and youth literature history.

👉 #LiteratureHistory #90sCulture #IndependentPublishing #Poetry #ZineCulture #TurkishLiterature #BengisuDergisi

Zeus and Poseidon

 Zeus and Poseidon

https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/7cef6b05-51f4-4a15-b2a1-d98e7d53fcf1/audio

During the Journey

(Oğuz has decided to return to the islands and his family after years away. They are on the Bozcaada car ferry. His brother, Alp, is with him.)

Oğuz (Poseidon): Alp, what happened to your epic love story with Aygül after you got married?

Alp (Zeus): What happened to our love? Nothing's changed.

Oğuz: They say love turns into affection after marriage.

Alp: Could be. That's the common belief, but I'm still as in love with Aygül as ever. And I love her, of course.

Oğuz: So, have you ever cheated on Aygül?

Alp: Oğuz, are you okay? Where do these questions come from? Look, you haven't been back to the island in years. Did I ever ask what you were up to abroad? You left Deniz before your wedding, abandoning her, the island, and us.

Oğuz: Don't change the subject, please. I asked you a straightforward question.

Alp: You haven't changed a bit. Yes, I cheated on my woman, and I've been cheated on too. I became a slave to passion with other women. I fell in love, sharing the thrill on my lover's lips.

Oğuz: …

Alp: Want me to go on? You opened the door.

Oğuz: Sure, it's up to you.

Alp: I set free the physical touches I'd locked inside me with the women I cheated with. I was defeated by those emotions in the face of reality. I stood back up and got swept away again by lustful glances.

"Hey, good people, don't let yourself be carried by the wind. It's a human obsession that brings ruin, like a disease. Please don't touch it, or you'll lose yourself, breathless. In the middle of this fight, I call out to my beloved: Don't sleep through the poisonous reach of dawn. Stand before me and shatter the fleeting songs of love's wounds."

Oğuz: And then?

Alp: Then? I was heartbroken, of course.

Oğuz: So that's where it ended? Done and forgotten?

Alp: If you're in a relationship, you must consider these things, right?

Oğuz: Do people who love each other and decide to marry think, "This is exactly the kind of woman I want. Her personality fits me perfectly," when they tie the knot?

Alp: I wouldn't say it's always like that. Honestly, that kind of desire and the decision to marry based on it can be dangerous. And right now, the warning bells are ringing for Aygül and me.

Oğuz: Meaning?

Alp: I've started interfering in my woman's life. And that's driving a wedge between us.

"Come, let's escape, far from fleeting mischief. Where there are no eyes or hair of yours, just you and me— and them. Those who sell their fertile, fleeting loves to one another, who gouge out their eyes and cut their hair, disciples drowning in Zoroaster's vomit— that's you, that's me, that's them."

Oğuz: Love is a disease. It is a reckless journey that starts with passion and leaves you lost, tossed around without knowing what to do. Illusions reach out to her without questioning why.

Alp: Oğuz, the distance has changed you.

Oğuz: It's the struggle to name a relationship indescribable initially, but later has its boundaries drawn. Acting recklessly without realizing that thoughts don't even graze the circle of logic.

Alp: Since you brought up love, let me say this: love is an undefined virus in our bodies, multiplying the tumours we don't want, but that suddenly appear. Don't be fooled by the dance of love around you.

Oğuz: I won't be fooled anymore. But I'll keep loving passionately. Some will join me, others won't. Have any of us ever thought the same about love? That's how it should be, I guess.

Oğuz: So, have you ever been jealous of Aygül? Is there jealousy in your relationship?

Alp: I've been jealous—very much so. Beyond whether jealousy should exist, we can't deny its impact on our behaviour. As long as humans exist, this feeling will always be there.

Oğuz: Should it be part of a relationship, then?

Alp: If I say it should always be there, you might think I enjoy how it affects me.

Oğuz: That could be inferred, so why ask?

Alp: I'll be blunt, Oğuz. Whether we want it or not, jealousy is an inescapable part of life. It's always there in our relationships.

Oğuz: Of course it is. But what matters is keeping it in balance. You know I always say that.

Alp: Oh, I know.

Oğuz: Sometimes we accept it; other times, we push it away angrily, wanting to keep it out of our relationships. Jealousy can be dangerous at times. But only when it spirals out of control. That's when the warning bells start ringing.

Alp: I'm always jealous of my woman. I'm a jealous man. But I don't want it to be just my feeling—I want to be the one who's envied too. As long as we both keep this feeling under control, we know it won't harm us. Or at least, that's what I think.

Oğuz: Don't be so sure. No matter how controlled both people are, it's not guaranteed to be problem-free. For example, things take a different turn if jealousy reaches paranoia or extreme suspicion.

Alp: Oh, they do. I'd never want that in my relationship. I wouldn't allow it.

Oğuz: You sound very confident. I won't warn you again.

Alp: My woman says she's never jealous of me. Oh, women. I'm not saying they're dishonest, but I can't believe how they manage it. This contradiction always makes me think.

They've puzzled over it for years but never found an answer.

"If I could love without jealousy, I'd drown in the barrenness of words that turn my pain into poetry. Strip yourself of the details of doubt, embrace me, let go of your fears, and throw them at me."

Oğuz: Do you trust Aygül?

Alp: First, let me say this: jealousy's connection to trust seems direct, but to me, it's a grand deception.

Oğuz: How so? Can you explain?

Alp: We don't get jealous because we distrust someone. We don't love someone we don't trust. But we can envy the one we love, whom we've shared so much with.

Oğuz: That's an interesting perspective.

Alp: We need time to filter these emotions through our minds. Don't we often measure some feelings against others?

Oğuz: True.

Alp: Back in school, I used to say in my relationships, "Anything can happen at any moment." And often, it did. Sometimes, things happened that surprised both me and the people around me.

Oğuz: Oh, I remember your university days.

Alp: Not just in romantic relationships but in every kind of connection. Old relationships end, new ones begin. New friends, lovers, allies, enemies… And what happened?

Oğuz: …

Alp: I became who I am with what was left. I got tired of dealing with people like me. I distanced myself from them.

"If I love you, it harms my skin. If I push you away, or don't want you, I'm far from my desire. If I say there are others, it's an honest wish. If I pile my bold sensations on myself, I'm in a pitiful state. Even the crimes I committed in your name, I can't keep track of, my woman. When I hold one, another clings to me, one more sip from arrogant recklessness."

Oğuz: How important was physical chemistry in your relationships? How much of a role does sexual connection play?

Alp: Physical chemistry is a cornerstone of a relationship, wouldn't you say? You'd agree. As I said earlier, love evolves into affection or other emotions. If it's an intense love, it turns into affection.

Oğuz: Yes. And where does sexuality fit in?

Alp: But if sexuality in a relationship becomes routine over time, it loses its essence. Things go bad when the excitement, passion, and lustful glances turn into empty stares driven by need.

Oğuz: Now that, I agree with.

Alp: And you have to evaluate sexuality based on the emotional intensity of the relationship at different times.

Oğuz: People can have sex with someone they don't love. But how do their bodies accept each other?

Alp: I think that's the thrill people get from forbidden love. In those moments, people believe they've reached nirvana. I won't say they're deceiving themselves, because what happens in that moment is real.

Oğuz: Are they regretful?

Alp: It's not regret—what was bound to happen. It's the sins of bathed virgins offering their necks to the guillotine. Maybe it was chosen unwillingly. Like I said, what's done is done. That's the reality.

"I strip the accumulated virgins of history, run my sweaty hands over their breasts, their hips, their hair, their lips, I touch them, guided by the growing tumours within me, I wash them away." Kürşat Ural

"Let poetry enter your life."